Trust is the motor base of any relationship, but to reach it we must get rid of illusory interpretations that do nothing but harm our partner, and ourselves. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, today’s protagonists are JEALOUSY.
Let’s do a test. Imagine that you just got home and you find your partner’s mobile on the dining room table. Doesn’t stop receiving messages. Whose will they be? Doubt eats you up inside.
Out of the corner of your eye you see the name of a man or woman appear that is not yours, that you do not know. What would you do? Would you have the courage to pick up the phone and see your partner’s messages without their permission?
If your answer is yes, friend, we have a problem to solve. This is called jealousy, and it is something that we must avoid as soon as they imply some minimal negative aspect for the relationship.
At the moment in which you have decided to “gossip” the mobile of the person with whom you have decided to share your life, you have shown how little trust you have in him/her. And, as we have said in the same subtitle of this article, trust is vital to be able to keep any relationship minimally alive.
Some of you will say that it is normal, that you are so in love with that person that you could not bear to see someone other than you. That, without a doubt, is no longer love.
Experts affirm that “jealousy is considered a normal feeling if it occurs moderately and occasionally, since it is part of the emotional development of human beings” (Marta Guerri, 2013). It is evident that there are times when we “demand” our partner to be the centre of attention; It is something that children do continuously with their respective parents… It is normal, then, that when we believe that we are not sufficiently cared for, we need to “prod” in some way to regain that leading role in the relationship.
Now, the line between wanting your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife to do what you think you deserve and not wanting them to see anyone else and only have time for you is very fine, since this last premise is already be a clear example of jealousy necessary to deal with.
If at any time you have felt that your partner did not have the right to have their own space, but that they should only live by and for you, let me tell you that anyone who asks will be told to stay away from you, that it is not, much less than a healthy relationship.
Why? Because in reality, behind all this demand and toxicity, there is a big problem of insecurity and self-esteem and, on some specific occasions, a psychological disorder.
In each of our articles you will be able to observe how we continually reiterate that in order to love another person and have a healthy relationship, you must first love yourself, and be satisfied and aware of what you live with and are.
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Sara Beneyto Pérez, a clinical psychologist and hypnotherapist, calls “ruminative thoughts” those thoughts “that take us from an initial assumption, which we are not sure is true, to other assumptions that end in a negative
The cold arrives, and with it the time of sofa, blanket, movie and popcorn.
Let’s say… history repeats itself every night: lying on the sofa, zapping through the Netflix movie catalogue, with almost cold popcorn because you can’t find one that fits your eye and convinces you both.
Quiet! The team wanted to make a compilation of the best movies to watch as a couple, of different genres and for all tastes. Do you want to meet them?
The Ascent (L’ascension) is a French film, therefore it is not surprising that its theme is related to love. Combining love with sports, it tells us the love story of Samy, a young Parisian of Senegalese origin who tries, in every possible way, to get Nadia, the woman of his dreams, to notice him.
The one I love
The protagonists of this film are Sophie and Mark, a marriage that is not going through its best moment. That is why they decide to go to a therapist, who gives them a drastic solution to their problem: spend a weekend in a beautiful house in the countryside…
If you have a craving for sweet popcorn one night, they will combine perfectly with this film that tells the story of Vianne Rocher and her daughter Anouk, who, with their arrival in Lansquenet and their chocolate shop, revolutionize the town and its way of living life.
The best of me
The reunion of two people who were in love is always intense and beautiful to live. The best of me places us in this context with two young people who, after 20 years, see each other again and realize that no matter how much time passes, love is much stronger than everything.
La La Land: the city of stars
Do you like those movies that don’t let you blink for a second, because you feel like you’ve missed something crucial to understanding them? Gerald’s game plays with the intimacy and problems of a couple, creating a most disturbing horror story: a bed, handcuffs and loneliness will be the protagonists of this story.
Kiki, love is made
Paco León is the protagonist of this comedy that combines laughter and sex to perfection in the different sexual comics and romantic adventures of couples. Which one will you feel more identified with?
If you haven’t seen it yet, it has to be the first movie on your couch, blanket, movie and popcorn list. Nottin Hill narrates the turn in the life of Anna, a famous actress, when love crosses her path with the conquest of Scott, who has a crush on her as soon as he sees her.
And no one but you
Notice to all viewers: with this movie you are going to cry (so that later you don’t say that we haven’t warned you…). Abbie is diagnosed with cancer and becomes determined to find a girlfriend for her fiancé and first love, Sam, who doesn’t have much flirting experience.
Who nowadays does not have any social network? These platforms, and also including dating apps, … read more
After having suffered violence from her husband for a long time, Gerry, 48, no longer feels attracted to men. Dr Cath Brady, a sexologist and andrologist at Cochin Hospital, explains to him how to overcome the panic fear of males.
“My ex-husband hit me, spoke to me badly. But when he was in his good times, he was cheerful and very kind. That’s why I stayed with him for so long. But I ended up leaving and he was furious, he threatened by phone to kill me. I was very scared. Over the weeks and months, we had to maintain contact, because we have a child, and he became normal again, neither aggressive nor very nice. I thought the hardest part was behind me. I never saw him. He invited me one day for a drink and I accepted. He was completely normal and even quite caring. He offered to take me home, I accepted again. We talked in the car, then he stopped on the side of the road and we had sex in the car.
INGRAINED INTIMATE HABITS
In fact, we know from studies that couples separated, even in a rather violent way, can continue to have sexual relations for a time. It is a banal situation of which one can be ashamed. This does not necessarily mean that the love persists, but rather that one has very ingrained intimate habits, often for years, and that it seems natural to have a sexual relationship with this person. You don’t have to blame yourself! The problem is that after this relationship, Geraldine’s husband hit her again and she had to be hospitalized, her son being with his sister during this time. Gerry consulted in sexology shortly after this episode, because she was wondering about herself.
“I have the impression that men are over for me. I no longer feel attracted to any of them at all. I think I prefer women, in the end…” adds Gerry.
After having discussed this subject, to get an idea of the question, Gerry decided to spend an evening in a bar known to be a place of female homosexual meetings. But she didn’t go any further.
Subsequently, and after a few sessions of EMDR psychotherapy aimed at overcoming the trauma represented by her husband’s aggression, she told me in consultation: “I had a drink with some friends and there was a gentleman who attracted. In fact, I realize that I am attracted to men again.”
I explain to him that the sexual drive is very powerful and that when there is a panic fear of males, this drive can transfer to the opposite sex. Then, if the fear subsides, the drive resumes its usual path . This situation exists in both heterosexual and homosexual contexts.
Since then, Gerry no longer asks herself questions about her sexual orientation, but she has not met a lover. It must be said that she is in no hurry and does not really seek. She first wants to rebuild herself, to feel good about herself before trusting someone for sexual intimacy… This too is normal, after a difficult relationship, it sometimes takes one or two years to settle down. feel ready again in this area.… read more